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S1-025 Heart and Souls
Hearts and Souls is the twenty-fifth episode of Season One of Queens of Adventure. In it, the joint forces of the HOGs and the Glamazons fight off an infernal attack. Synopsis A raven flies over a hole in the northeast side of an Observatory. Astride a nightmare, a horse with firey mane, is Carol, a devilish figure. They are surrounded by imps, hell hounds, and magmen. Staring at them are two groups: To the north of the room are the Glamazon Inquirer Rigo, two guards, and two scribes. To the south are the contingent from the HOGs, Belfry, Ellen, Patrick, Sir Throbardon, Arson, Butylene, and Fraya. Belfry tells the three queens to protect the scribes and experts as they launch into battle. Fraya apologizes to Rigo, and runs across the reflecting pool. She shapes some of the water to splash the devil and nightmare. It misses the devil but extinguishes the nightmare's mane. The mount bucks, throwing Carol off. Some of the magmen move around the nightmare and attack the Glamazon scribes. One's claws burn through scribe Jenna's, cloak. Sir Throbardon ducks another magmen's attack. A third lava baby hops onto the table and swipes at Fraya, but falls into the water, extinguishing into stone. Ellen encourages all who can't defend themselves to get into the pool before calling upon David Bowie to bless ''the party. Patrick and three of the scribes dive into the pool as a hellhound stalks to the table and breaths fire at Fraya. Jenna is surrounded by magmen and can't move. A guard knocks another magman away from the scribe, while the other guard jabs a javelin into the magman attacking Sir Throbardon. This one explodes, but the flames miss the two fighters. Arson runs up to Carol, casting ''Samantha's Curse on him. She summons her pact weapon as a long chained mace and swings it at Carol. The blessing seems to extend the mace's reach, hitting the devil before he can dodge. Admiring Arson's work, Belfry rushes out to sneak attack Carol repeatedly with her cutlass, doing a lot of damage to the Horned Devil. Rigo, sigils of scales and swords appearing around him, casts aide on the three queens, then uses voice of authority on to make Arson attack the hell hound by the pool. Her mace connects. Carol jabs a pitchfork at an unphased Belfry then slashes with his tail. Ellen panics as the wound is infernal, and will keep getting worse. Butylene douses a dart with a randomized arcane venom. The dart ensnares Carol with vines Sir Throbardon fires a bow from the orrery overhead killing the pool hellhound. Steaming, the nightmare rears back and kicks Arson as imps miss all their attacks. Fraya calls lightning against the nightmare like a slap. It brays in pain as lightning courses over it. Sparks also hit the second hell hound. Fraya then mounts the nightmare, hoping to break it on her next turn. One of the magmen hits Jenna the scribe, and a second runs into the room falling into the pool and dying as it fails to attack Ellen. She fires sacred flame at the magmen menacing her scribe friend, bursting it apart. Magma sprays Rigo's cloak and knocks Jenna out. Arson dodges a hell hound, while Patrick and the scribes try to hide in the pool. A guard knocks out one imp. Arson uses her upgraded eldritch blast on the hell hound and the nightmare. The wounds on Belfry's arm spreads a spiderweb of blackness. She tears off part of her sleeve, washes the cloth and cleans out the wound, thanking Ellen for the suggestion. Rigo assists with another casting of aide on Belfry, Ellen, and Jenna the scribe, the later of whom gets to her feet. Carol swings his tail and pitchfork, but misses both times as she dodges away. A second pitchfork swipe cuts through Belfry's silver flame, cutting her. Belfry triggers her legendary action allowing her to respond with an attack, catching Carol off guard. The Horned Devil looks weakened. Butylene takes advantage of his state and launches a nat20 blowdart, dipped in another venom, and Carol goes blind. He shouts out "Barb a little help here!" Below them, the ground rumbles and splits. Barb emerges. Carol says Barb told him they'd be unarmed. Barb claims to be shocked that Carol's impressive forces were so overwhelmed, since she alone trounced them easily a few days ago. Carol threatens to call Bernadette, and Barb dares him to. An infernal cacophony bellows out of Carol and the whole room shakes. Pieces fall into the pool as the roof lifts up and a giant devil looks down inside: "Who dares disturb Bernadette?" Carol accuses Barb of mutiny. Barb points out Carol's failure and outlines his own better plan for the island mission. He even claims he tricked all these heroes into going along with their plan. He lured them to Watersport, tricked them into going to the Glamazons and being ordered for execution, and therefore sent them against the Kracken Priest. Butylene tells her colleagues in draglish that Barb agreed to help them if they backed Barb up when he made his play. The queens agree. They try and convince Bernadette. Arson flexes her spider muscles to intimidate, claiming the mutagen Barb used on her made her one of the strongest in the land, but her legs are thin and Bernadette is perplexed. Fraya uses animal handling to calm the horse, saying Barb arranged for the nightmare for them. She whispers in its ear "If you move another muscle, I will drench you" and the beast calms. Butylene digs into her knowledge of arcana ''to claim she knows about various infernal violations Carol has committed. Bernadette takes this seriously. She further tries to deceive Bernadette, claiming she has been on Barb's side since Watersport. To prove Barb's story, she pulls out the Kracken Priest's Heart. The Pit Fiend finds the heart disgusting, and recognizes that Barb has done a lot in the battle against the Kracken, while Carol hasn't. Bernadette drags Carol back to the pit, telling Barb he is in charge but that Judy will be coming to check on him at the full moon. If he hasn't taken care of the Kracken by then, Judy will do it herself. Bernadette and Carol then fold into their own lips and vanish. The nightmare begins acting impatiently, and Fraya tries to tug on the reins. Her animal handling continues to hold out, and the steed keeps pawing impatiently, but stays put. Fraya asks Barb if she can keep the nightmare. He doesn't care. Everyone breaks their defensive stats. Rigo looks over at Barb, then asks Butylene to confirm the validity of her statements to Bernadette. The tiefling confesses under a ''zone of truth that they were a lie. Rigo asks how much of her story was a lie. Barb admits all of it. Rigo asks Barb for assurance that if they are to work with Barb he must agree to not hurt anyone on the island, the same terms as the treaty. Barb agrees, but is clearly lying. An expert in all contracts, including infernal ones, Rigo insists Barb sign an infernal contract until the island is safe. Barb says he can only do so if someone sells their soul. Rigo offers his soul, as long as his lifespan is not artificially shortened, and when he dies the soul becomes Barb's. Ellen grabs Butylene's arm, begging for help. Pulling off her flame mask, Belfry says she can't part with her soul. Barb says he will take any soul, and Butylene offers hers. Fraya is distressed by this and tries to get Barb to abide by their rules without a soul. But Butylene thinks it is better her than anyone else there. Rigo asks if Butylene is sure she accepts what this means. She does. A contract appears in Barb's hands, and Butylene winks before signing. As the summit attendees take their seats, Ellen whispers thank you to Butylene. Rigo says nothing matters more to the Glamazons than protecting the island and their culture, as well as families. This group demonstrated how far they will go for that. He is also impressed they brought together a devil, a legendary pirate queen, and a Glamazon inquirer together in battle. It is the sort of thing the Legendary Queens were known for. A portable hole of glory will be given to the queens, and one installed at the Golden Palace. Fraya, still upset over the soul selling, gets off the nightmare and gives it to Butylene. She uses talk to animal to ask the nightmare's name. It says 'Sunny'. As they prepare to depart, Rigo says a Glamazon contingent will be dispatched to the Golden Palace as soon as his group gets back, and offers rides to the others down the mountain to the resort. Belfry declines, firing a grappling hook into the air and exiting out of the Observatory to take a walk around. Barb says he will set up shop at the Three Fingers Inn. Rigo spreads his glider and takes off. The queens say goodbye to Ellen, who hopes to see them again, before she extends her cape and glides off after her Dad. The guards hoist Arson onto the palanquin to carry her down to the palace as Butylene mounts the nightmare to ride back and Fraya is carried down the hill by a solo Glamazon. A crowd is gathered at the scenic overlook above the Golden Palace. The ghosts are there, and Jim-Jim has a buffet, but runs to Throbardon as he is dropped off. Gnomi is eating crab cakes. Karin rushes to hug Patrick. Butylene arrives on her new mount as its mane begins to reignite. Belfry ziplines out of the jungle. She congrats everyone before telling the queens to report to her office in the morning for next steps. Fraya heads to the spa to meditate on Butylene's situation. Out in the ocean, dark monstrous shapes in the water begin moving towards the island. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric NPCs * Carol * "Sunny" the Nightmare * Rigo * Belfry * Ellen * Patrick * Sir Throbardon * Barb * Bernadette (debut) * Woo Ghosts * Jim-Jim * Gnomi Malone * Karin Monsters/Enemies * Hell Hounds * Imps * Magmen/Lava Babies Episode Notes Lore * The only way to bind a devil to an agreement is in exchange for someone promising their soul in payment when they die. The soul boosts the devil's status in the nine hells. If a devil breaks the contract, they are drawn back to hell and are ripped apart for a thousand years. Memorable Quotes * "I rolled a 17. I kind of figured we were already... so I already rolled." - Fraya Love * "I've already said 'Can I shape water' for you like ten times in my head." - Butylene O'Kipple * "If anyone's listening, I'm voguing right now." - Fraya Love * "Is that like a wet dream but worse? Has anyone ever had a wet nightmare where it's so terrifying that you cream yourself?" - Fraya Love * "I'll never understand devil physiology." - "I'm very confused." - Bernadette and Fraya Love * "It's in the reports, Carol." - Butylene O'Kipple * "Just you wait: We'll overthrow soul capitalism at some point." - Fraya Love * "So we just sold a soul and we're doing all the heavy lifting?" - Fraya Love * "I'd like to point out that I ended this battle with twenty more hit points than I started and didn't use a single spell slot." - Arson Nicki References * Showgirls - Pool Scene * Grey Gardens - Label is Faded, Can't Tell if it's giblets for the cat * Bianca Del Rio - "Not Today, Satan" * Squarespace * TPA reports - Office Space * House Hunters * Spartacus * Hunger Games - "I offer myself as tribute" * Uber XL Name That Tune * "It's Raining Men" - Weather Girls * "Under Pressure" - David Bowie and Mick Jagger * "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift * "Set Fire to the Rain" - Adele * "I'm Going Home" - Rocky Horror Picture Show Behind the Queens * Barb does the outro credits, the first time a character, and not DM Matt does any credits. Category:Episodes Category:Season One